A door you refused to open

I dream a dream on repeat
In it, is a door..

A tall, imposing old door
Ornate two-panels
A gold knob on the dark wood
Shaped like the face of a dragon
The more I looked
the more it grew
Intimidating, alive.
I refuse to open,
Who or what awaits on the other side?

I dream a dream..
Of a traditional carved door
Intricate motifs on its arched frame
A faint scent of white pine
Lingered in the air.
I reach out to touch,
but step back
It is not my door,
am I allowed to touch?

I dream a dream..
It is a dark mahogany door,
polished wood:
Glossy and fine
It stretched toward the sky.
I stand before it,
Tilting my head in awe.
But am I allowed
to stand here and stare?

I dream a dream..
Of a red door
with a big black lock
I lose myself
In its structured pattern.
To find such careful carving
Feels like an anomaly.
I stand again before it
I do not try to open it.

I dream a dream..
Of yet another door
Broken, laced with spider webs,
No door knob,
Moss creeping upward
Slowly eating the wood.
Afraid it might crumble at my touch,
I turn away.

I dream a dream..
Of multiple doors
each one closed
Afraid of choosing wrong,
Afraid of being lost,
I run,
I hide,
I cry.

I dream a dream..
Of a giant single black door
It towered over me
I walked towards it,
an ant in comparison
I remembered my Dada told me:
You’ll never know if you never try
I step forward,
But courage runs dry
and I turn behind.

I dream a dream..
Of a familiar door
A door from the past
Its surface remembers my touch
It was opened before
Something had escaped
Something I never named
I look away,
I cannot breathe
and wake with a start.

I dream a dream..
Of the same familiar door from the past
The handle awaits
I walk toward it,
Slowly,
My hand trembles
But this time,
I open it.

Blue sky
Green grass
A silent breeze
I breathe deep
And rise with a smile.

Worry

How do we describe this feeling?
This feeling of going unnoticed,
In a world filled with billions of people.
Trapped inside the houses with no where to go.
This pandemic,
This threat,
This worry!
People are panicking,
People are worried,
People are complaining,
People are depressed.

“Are you listening to me?
Are you watching me?
I need attention, give it to me!”

We are craving to return to live our normal lives.
Dreaming of walking freely outside.
When?
The only question that is at all times on our minds.

And, what do we do as we wait?
We breathe.
Till then we breathe!
We take the longest deep breaths.
To calm our unsettling and restless minds.

Eerie

Day 45

The cold blowing breeze of the night,

Comes again to send chills down the spine.

Relentless deep breaths,

Seem to be of no help.

Clenching on the sheets..

Eyes shut tight,

Beads of sweat on the brow.

A hair-raising whisper by the ear,

And a shrilling scream is heard again.