A Stream of Consciousness

There’s always a time limit on everything.

Gone are those days when I could spend hours sitting in my room doing anything I like without worrying about where’s the food coming from, is it the day to wash my laundry, who is going to clean the house, wash the dishes, or who’s going to clean the cat’s litter box.

Grown ups need to deal with a lot of things. In a few hours that I get for myself, I need to think of making the most of my time by doing something that I absolutely enjoy.

The problem here is that I enjoy doing a lot of things. In one hour, how am I supposed to write, sketch, listen to music, learn a language, or do a course in interior design? When I finally decide what I will be doing or when I am just about to get into that mood to write the story of my life, time’s over. Or oh, last one, I mindlessly spend time doing nothing, totally waste my precious hour, alas time’s up!

It’s either time to go for a walk or time to cook or time to spend time with your partner, or time to study, basically it’s time to get up and do the household chores which do not come under the “me time” category.

The thing is we all put ourselves under unnecessary pressure to be over productive, I don’t know why I do this to myself, why we all do this to ourselves but I guess it helps us to keep going. If there’s no pressure then I will never feel the need to perform.
So, probably pressure is good at times.
Who knows.
My time is up, need to stop writing and attend to other obligations.

To Do or Not to Do

Day 86

The days pass like a drifting leaf..

The time keeps leaving me behind.

With an upraised arm I run after,

Presuming it would wait.

When the realisation dawns on what is lost,

I scowl and settle on a plan of action,

To not fritter my time away.

But then again,

A confused, lazy thought perches

On my rational brain.

It longs for an aimless, uneventful day.

And so, I let my mind wander away.

Ah, so easy it is to do nothing but stare.

While my unread books,

Unfinished work,

Unanswered mails,

And gym awaits.