I let you go now I miss you.
The heart aches remembering that which is gone.
Hover in stillness of the room.
A warm yellow light
Swelling an air of melancholy.
I am just sad, a sad lad. My eyelids feel heavy, brain is foggy. I’m in that state where I can think of a hundred things and make myself sad. Like, ah the weather is so beautiful but I can’t go travelling. I want to go for a run but I’m feeling lazy and my legs are tired. I feel dirty, I need to shower but it’s too cold to get wet. I wish my friends lived next door. I wish people could understand my deep inner emotions. Stuff like that you know, but who wants to go down that lane.
What can I do instead?
Make a sandwich? Done. Drink a cup of hot coffee? Done. Watch a crazy TV show? Done. Wash my laundry? Done, I just need to remove them from the dryer. Read a book? Done. Play video games? Done.
I guess this is another problem, I’m too good, I’m too cool, I’m also a fool.
Okay, I think I am feeling better now!. Time to go and throw out the trash. Trash all the sadness and negativity that’s pulling me down.
That was easy, all I had to do was dwell on those feelings, write them down, shout them out, and understand what’s wrong. Now that I’ve given those emotions some attention I feel I am ready to take on the world. But hey, I am just a lad, not a sad one anymore, a normal lad.
These are not the best times, days can feel cold and lonely, but please know that you are not alone. Today is Valentine’s Day so let us embrace the precious things around. Look outside the window and see if anything brings a smile, a funny-shaped cloud in the sky, a cute lil pup, snow on the ground, a tree that is always around, a friendly familiar face, or bright sunny skies.
If not, light a candle, make yourself a hot cup of coffee, watch a movie that you like, and turn on some fairy lights. Let us not clutter the mind with too many thoughts and be thankful and grateful for the things around. Go out for a walk or spend a few calm moments with yourself, enjoying some deep breaths.
Including this video of Yoga with Adriene to make your day awesome!
Like Adriene always says, breathe lots of love in and breathe lots of love out. Life is all about loving yourself and being kind. ❤
In this cold and miserable weather, all she wants to do is curl up inside a blanket and read books all day long. She makes a warm bowl of cream and mushroom soup and cups her palms around it. She dreads the winter.
Every year she feels she will get used to the cold, but every year she ends up saying, “I can’t do this anymore!” The uncomfortable feeling of cold hands and feet make her sad. At present, she is wearing three layers of clothing inside her home. A pink slip with a black T-shirt and a striped sweatshirt. A pair of unicorn printed fleece pants, a beanie, thermal socks, and yet her nose is cold as snow.
Sometimes, she looks at her neighbours, diligently taking their dogs for walks in the snow and feels sad. She feels sad for not being active like the others, for not having the courage to step out every single day. Sometimes with great effort, she goes out once in a week to shop for groceries. Due to COVID-19, she has to work from home and hardly meets any of her family and friends. So, she always ends up feeling lonely and low.
One day, an unexpected visitor shows up at her door. She fixes her curly hair, straightens her glasses and opens the door. At first, she finds nobody but when she looks down, there is a Mr. Pussycat looking up at her.
“Where did you come from?”, she asks surprisedly.
She steps outside and looks around but finds nobody on the street. Since, she cannot not leave him alone in the bone-chilling cold, she picks him up and brings Mr. Pussycat inside. She opens a can of tuna and watches him lick it all clean. “Poor lil one must have been really hungry!”
Mr. Pussycat turns out to have a friendly and cuddly soul. He jumps onto her lap, snuggles cozily and falls asleep, all the while purring. Stupefied by the cat’s behaviour, the girl wonders if she has a new companion. Both turn out to have similar personalities so it does not take them long to get along with each other. She plays with him, cooks for him, snuggles and watches movies with him. Mr.Pussycat takes up most of her time and the cold no longer plays on her mind. Now, they live happily alone together.
The past few days have been dark and cloudy. So to lift my spirits, I dress up and slip on my new heels.
I book a cab and decide to reach work early. The pleasant breeze on my face from the open windows of the cab makes me chirpier.
Feeling happy and with my head up towards the skies, I step out of the cab and to my horror notice that my heels are stuck deep in wet muck.
*A loud shrill scream*
The driver looks at me and says, “Yikes, that’s disgusting madam!”
Today, a grey and red spotted moth got trapped in a gap between the glass and the mesh section of my window frame.
I tried to help but there’s no way I can without breaking the glass or cutting open the mesh. I sit down and wonder where the moth must have entered from. Then, I notice a slight opening outside, near the upper edge of the window. I feel relieved because there’s hope for the moth to escape. All it needs to do now is find its way, go back to the opening, and fly away. But sadly, all it seems to do is walk farther away from the opening, or fly and hit itself against the glass pane, and fall down. Sigh!
While I watch this little moth try helplessly, I get reminded of the story of The King and the Spider. I sit by the window and narrate this story to the moth of how the spider never gives up and continues trying until it succeeds. Just to give the moth some company and a few words of inspiration. Slowly, the moth starts moving towards the center of the frame. It gets closer to the edge but again suddenly decides to fly straight towards the glass. Another fall! “Now, why would you do that? Stop flying and go towards the corner where you entered from.”, I say but the little one does not listen to me.
Thankfully, it gets up again and continues walking. It walks multiple times over the same path, starts flying, and falls down. Poor thing continues trying, sometimes it is super close to the opening but it mindlessly walks away or flies only to fall back down again. Now, I am not sure about the moth but I give up. I cannot watch the moth struggle to find a way out of its own trap.
Sometimes, we create these kind of traps for ourselves in our lives due to bad decisions or sometimes unfortunate circumstances make us feel trapped with no way out. What’s important is that the moth did not give up even when the end was near, it did not stop trying. I guess when we stop trying, we stop being alive. So, let’s hold on to dear life.
I heard a melodious tune
A passage of notes on the piano
Soft, smooth, and grave
It seemed like a familiar piece of music
Like the one that plays
With the chords of your heart
Like the one that arouses
Many hidden emotions
Which then come flowing out
Like a pouring rain.
A sad melody hummed in the air
In the hopeful season of spring
The spirit of gaiety is locked away.