A door you refused to open

I dream a dream on repeat
In it, is a door..

A tall, imposing old door
Ornate two-panels
A gold knob on the dark wood
Shaped like the face of a dragon
The more I looked
the more it grew
Intimidating, alive.
I refuse to open,
Who or what awaits on the other side?

I dream a dream..
Of a traditional carved door
Intricate motifs on its arched frame
A faint scent of white pine
Lingered in the air.
I reach out to touch,
but step back
It is not my door,
am I allowed to touch?

I dream a dream..
It is a dark mahogany door,
polished wood:
Glossy and fine
It stretched toward the sky.
I stand before it,
Tilting my head in awe.
But am I allowed
to stand here and stare?

I dream a dream..
Of a red door
with a big black lock
I lose myself
In its structured pattern.
To find such careful carving
Feels like an anomaly.
I stand again before it
I do not try to open it.

I dream a dream..
Of yet another door
Broken, laced with spider webs,
No door knob,
Moss creeping upward
Slowly eating the wood.
Afraid it might crumble at my touch,
I turn away.

I dream a dream..
Of multiple doors
each one closed
Afraid of choosing wrong,
Afraid of being lost,
I run,
I hide,
I cry.

I dream a dream..
Of a giant single black door
It towered over me
I walked towards it,
an ant in comparison
I remembered my Dada told me:
You’ll never know if you never try
I step forward,
But courage runs dry
and I turn behind.

I dream a dream..
Of a familiar door
A door from the past
Its surface remembers my touch
It was opened before
Something had escaped
Something I never named
I look away,
I cannot breathe
and wake with a start.

I dream a dream..
Of the same familiar door from the past
The handle awaits
I walk toward it,
Slowly,
My hand trembles
But this time,
I open it.

Blue sky
Green grass
A silent breeze
I breathe deep
And rise with a smile.

Where you at?

I cannot sleep,
Is it my troubled mind, that is keeping me awake all night?
Or is it the moonlight from my window?
I try long and hard –
To go back to a peaceful world of dreams,
Where the night is dark and the sleep is deep.
But lately I’ve been up all night!
Tossing and turning,
Taking deep breaths,
Reading books,
Listening to meditative music to put me back to sleep…
Why isn’t anything helping?
What is it that I’ve been thinking?
Am I anxious or just excited?
What am I waiting for,
Or rather who am I waiting for?
No, stop it!
Stop thinking.
I need my sleep.
Let’s try going back to sleep.
Night night!

#10 Tea Leaves

Day 10 Inktober : Pick

This has been kind of a dream job, wearing a basket over the head, picking those tender and fresh tea leaves and plucking them traditionally by hand. I know it’s not easy at all, but I would love to visit a tea estate in India someday.

Go Back to Sleep

What’s this sunlight outside my window on a cold autumn day,

Is it summer again?

Please tell me it’s summer!

So, I can wear my floral dresses and walk down the streets,

Without fearing the chillness on the tips of my earlobes.

Can I eat a fudgy ice cream sandwich cake for breakfast?

Alas, my weather app says 4 degree Celsius

Or, should I rather say 39 degree Fahrenheit.

Albeit, it’s all the same, it is still cold outside.

So, I might as well grab my comforter

And snuggle deep inside it again.