You are a human,
Not a paper on which I can write my emotions.
I do not know how you will perceive what I feel.
You might get me wrong.
And things might get messier.
So I remain silent or show you what’s on my mind?

Worthless, seeking happiness in others.

An emptiness, so shallow.

With no interest absolutely in doing anything meaningful.

All I do is watch the world outside,

the cloudy skies,

an eagle flying high,

people walking by.

Questions of existence and the point of life.

With no distinguishable role to play.

 

Artistry of others inspires me.

A blanket of darkness clouds my mind.

Thoughts of happier people living their lives.

These moods of mine take control of my mind

They consume my better side,

I walk around wearing a mask of anger and whine.

Spreading negativity.

A wave of throbbing pain in my brain.

I breathe deep and try to understand what is it that I want..

An ear to listen, someone to appreciate and care

Understand the person I am

And who am I?

Just an ordinary girl

Swamped in emotions in need of love.

Lying wide awake under my sheets

I recall who I used to be

I look at myself now and wonder

What has led me into this mansion of hunger

I dream of being better than who I used to be

I push aside any miseries

I work through my day in honesty and discipline.

I follow the rules, a routine keeps me going.

I spend hours of my day playing with my mates

Late hours at home are spent doing something good.

The calmness within is sometimes shattered by a wave of rage

A storm rises like it will never stop.

I see myself falling and worry I can never rise again.

But just a night’s sleep in my bed

Will make everything right once again.