Some days, the passion to create is so strong,
That everything around seems like a flash of inspiration.
From the morning cup of tea,
Sunshine on the feet,
Crumpled sheets,
A smiling person on the streets,
An empty blank sheet.
Illusions are what you manifest
To glorify a simple normal day in your life.
The Outsider
You think you belong to the land in which you were born,
Then, why have I felt so alone and wrong?
Like an outsider.
I’ve never felt at peace at home.
When I walked on the crowded streets,
I wished to go unnoticed.
Always hiding.
Always so angry with everything around me.
Always seeking a door,
To take me away from the miseries of this world.
Running, looking for an escape.
Running after change.
When I finally found it, I grabbed it with both my hands.
Leaving behind my home.
Unthinkingly in desperation.
I needed it so badly.
Of course, I was afraid!
Change is not easy.
But, my homeland has taught me to be brave.
All those years spent in fighting
Has given me strength to adapt to change.
When I opened my eyes to a new world,
I asked myself, “Is this paradise?”
Clear blue skies, lush green lands as far as the eye can see.
Filling me with a sense of serenity.
As time flies,
Slowly the feeling of awe subsides.
Overwhelming emotions started to consume me.
I looked around for familiar faces,
But, there was nowhere to hide.
I realised, I am the only outsider.
How do I begin again?
But, my homeland reminds me.
Never succumb to feelings of dread.
Overcome and be brave.
You have always been an outsider.
Running after change.
In my closet I hide,
Lock the door tight.
Sit down on the carpeted floor,
Holding a pencil to write.
The walls cold as ice,
On this snowy night,
Sneer down upon me.
As I lower my head and close my eyes.
I hum a song to ease the restless mind,
It’s time to get to work tonight.
Today
Today, I will rise and stretch like a cat.
Yawn real loud and open my mouth as wide as I can.
Draw open the curtains and smile.
Embrace the warmth of sunshine.
Today, I will not worry about the mistakes of yesterday.
I will start the day by being kind to myself and the people around me.
I will take time to work on a hobby that brings me joy.
I will be thankful and show gratitude for what surrounds me.
Today, is going to be another day away from family and friends
I will not crib or complain,
I will tell myself to hold on to hope.
As in my heart they are not far away.
It’s all about selfies and videos,
Vlogs and insta posts,
Attention span is dropping to low!
Really, where do the writers go,
Do people even read anymore?
If you have to get obsessed, then obsess over,
reading books without any breaks
walking for hours without knowing where you’re going
watching the stars and wondering how it would be like to be in space
playing with animals and taking care
obsess over loving yourself every single day.
Women Will Be Women
I am a woman. I have had ups and downs in my life, I have been asked to sacrifice. Sometimes I do it willing, sometimes forcefully.
I have not been allowed to wear clothes of my choice, I have been asked to dress appropriately for my safety, I obliged. Well, yes I am not physically strong, I cannot fight a gang of morons. So, I covered up and walked with my head down because who wants to be an object of illicit desire.
Growing up, I have been asked to dress well, wear make-up, act like a girl and look pretty to meet the standards of beauty, set by whom? I still wonder. I don’t want my skin to glitter and shine, I want to be in my PJs and read books of my choice.
I care for myself I know how things work in the male-dominated work places. I have a voice which is sometimes heard and often times ignored. But, I am not lame to scream and shout, I am wise I will find better ways to get things done the way I want.
I have been asked to come home early no later than 7 PM because the night is dark and full of terrors. Hungry men lurking around dark alleys ready to pounce on a girl who’s alone, who may or may not be dressed provocatively. I have heard stories, watched the news, I am scared too and so I do as I am asked to do.
Some women ask me, “Do you know how to cook? How will you feed your man?” When I replied no, they laughed at me, so I laughed too. I did learn cooking though – not for a man, but to feed myself and those in need. Why didn’t anyone tell me how rewarding and therapeutic it could be.
When men made their moves on me and I did not jive to their vibe, they called me names. But, it did not affect me as I knew already that they could never respect my standards and boundaries.
I am in my 30s, I am asked when I am having babies? I understand you are curious and these are questions for my well-being, but reproduction is not a role that every woman needs to play. In a world already populated and polluted by humans, do we really need more babies?
There are some things that sometimes women need to do. Not because somebody has asked us to, but because we are wise enough to understand how the world works.
Sometimes the messages passed on to women are wrong. We have not been treated equally, but we know the right from wrong.
We are patient, we are relentless, we are fighters, we are strong. Living through life like everyone else, we do not ask for more or less, because we know that we are the best.
Lingering feelings,
Scattered thoughts,
Hover in stillness of the room.
A warm yellow light
Swelling an air of melancholy.
Miss Dizzy
I hit snooze again,
Not once, not twice, bloody 14 times.
Groggy as a drunken monkey,
Slithering like a dazed slug.
Is this still a dream?
I sit down and wonder.
Eyes droopy, head foggy.
I feel like a zombie.
Mum slaps my hand and stares at me.
I growl at her, grumpily.
This day isn’t going to go real well.
No, don’t you tell me to go back to sleep again!
I will make myself coffee,
Turn down the lights,
Listen to some jazz,
Bask in this glorious grogginess,
And work, alright?
Nuraine Sadaf 